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Baba Buhari, remember your left hand, By Andrew Agbese


Baba Buhari, remember your left hand, By Andrew Agbese


There used to be a popular tale, of one boxer, Thunder Balogun; who like the character, Amalinze the cat in Chinua Achebe’s Things Fall Apart, earned his monicker as an undefeated champion of the ring through an unbroken record of conquests.
For Amalinze however, the determination of Okonkwo to succeed in life coupled with the resolve to rebel against the posture of his lazy father; turned out to be the needed combination that would extinguish him from the ring.
Luckily for Thunder Balogun, he was said to posses another gift which he kept as secret that enables him to reverse any sign of misfortune that dared to raise its ugly head at him whenever he is in the ring.
As the story went, whenever Thunder is cornered in the boxing ring by an opponent and is being pummeled with rains of heavy blows and is about to throw in the towel, his wife: said to be the only other person privy to the secret, would yell from the corner of the stand where she is always to be found watching the bout, “Thunder! Thunder!! Remember your left hand!!!” and her husband, the amphidexteruous pugilistic would quickly regain mental consciousness as he remembers the hidden charm packed in his left arm and immediately maneuver a space between him and his opponent, initiate a strike from the hitherto latent left arm to deliver the sucker punch that would send the opponent crashing down in the ring.
Well, President Muhammadu Buhari may not be a boxer, but it is obvious that one of the strong weapons he had used to surmount the challenges that confronted his government is what is now officially called the body language.
It is this body language that was said to have been responsible for the steady power supply we got less than a week after he assumed office.
This body language was so potent that it sent the right signals across the land for things to start falling into their proper places and for public officer holders to after a long time, begin to show senses of accountability.
It brought power, made those who knew they have tampered with our common wealth to start fleeing to other lands and restored peoples’ hope that Nigeria is in for a clean start.
But all of a sudden, the body language seems to have stopped working.
Petroleum marketers it seems have started demystifying the body language of the Nigerian President leading to the current situation where petrol has disappeared from Nigeria and no clue yet on what to do to save the situation.
The fuel situation is worse than in the days of Jonathan who did not have a body language.
Those days, you only need to overdraw from your ATM to meet the demand of the ubiquitous black marketers.
Today, after battling with your ATM which body language appears not too happy with the TSA regime introduced by the current administration, and you manage to get something out, you are soon to discover that the black marketers are not even there.
The pain is becoming unbearable.
Like Thunder Balogun’s wife, we must tell Buhari to use a magic wand to save the situation if he must, as we can no longer bear it. And if the magic, like that of Thunder, is packed in his left arm, so be it.
But he must return us to the days when we can drive into the fuel stations and not only fill our tanks, but have enough change to buy an injector cleaner, which according to another fable by fuel attendants, is capable of making the fuel in your car to last longer.

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