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Random Musings, By Adamu Tilde


Random Musings, By Adamu Tilde


Lately, an acquaintance here on FB, Muhsin Ibrahim, has been lending his voice on the ‘deterioration’ of our communal living and how we are losing it on all fronts- religious, culture, social order, etc.

The rate at which our society is drifting toward Animalistic tendencies calls for sincere concern. From Sodomy to Sologamy. From prevalent cases of rape to the horrendous news of Husband killing wife or wife killing husband. Now ‘Thievery’ is an institution of itself in our society. Don’t even talk of the cancerous ‘Beggary’ and ‘Divorcery’ institutions.

Muhsin pose a thought-provoking question that we all need to reflect on beyond condemnation and distancing of oneself: What is our community turning into? And I add, where did we got it wrong? For, as Igbo proverb goes, “we have to look back at where the rain started beating us before we could know where we dried our bodies”, in that, we may ascertain what goes wrong and how to address it.

Tonight, reading through one interesting Psychology book (Teaching Happiness and Well-being) by Ian Morris, I came across one lesson which I will like to share with like minds, perhaps it will enrich our library as we wander in search for meaning to our trouble yet frightening state.

I am of the opinion that family is the first and most reliable point of call in instilling discipline in children. Any other means is secondary and perhaps additional ‘gyara’. If family fails, then the society should be brave for the worst.

The term “Authorattentive” is credited to Felicia Huppert of the Cambridge Institute of Well-Being which means ‘an attitude that is authoritative and disciplined but which is attentive to the needs of human you are in relation to.’

Building on this concept, left to me, i will rather prefer ‘Authorattentive’ parenting which is very close to what was obtainable in our society not very long ago. I think it was generally African until we ‘substitute’ it with what we always believe to be best- White man way of doing almost everything. The inferiority complex bequeathed to Africa and Africans- by East and West- is the greatest tragedy that ever befell Africa’s Land.

Who are “Authorattentive Parents”; These are parents who are child centred- they really care for the child, they are warm parents, but they are very clear about values, and very clear about boundaries.


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